Trans Solidarity Project

What’s in a Name: Tips for Choosing a Gender-Affirming Name

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Benito

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No matter who you are, names have unparalleled importance since they often define us and serve as a core aspect of our identity. Names may have even more significance to transgender people since they play a vital role in affirming our gender identities and overall health.

Disclaimer: This article should serve as a GUIDE, not a MANUAL. Every journey is different, and thus, there is no singular way to be trans. Some of these tips may be helpful, while others may not – and that’s okay!

Choosing a new name can be a stressful process. Many (but not all) transgender people choose a new name to identify with as part of their transition since most names have a traditional gender associated with them, so a new name is needed as part of the transition journey. The new name is referred to as a chosen name or affirmed name, whereas the old name they were assigned at birth may be called their deadname, former name, birth name, assigned name, legal name, or some other variant.

Family History, Tradition, and Linguistics

One of the most common sources of names (for transgender and cisgender people alike) is family history. There is a certain prestige associated with being named after an important relative, which is why it’s not uncommon for people to pick names from these traditions. Take linguistics into account while picking your name, too. Heritage can be a fantastic inspiration, but be mindful of whether your prospective names have certain races and ethnicities associated with them.

It’s a good idea to take your family into account, regardless of the name you ultimately choose. If you have three cousins named some variant of Megan, do you really want to be the fourth? What about the family drama of picking the same name as your sibling? And while ancestor names are great, you might (or might not) want to be a 20-year-old guy named Bartholomew in 2025. Relatedly, you can also discuss names with your family, such as your parents, assuming they are supportive of your identity. At the end of the day, the name you go by is yours to decide.

Personal Interests: Make It Fun!

The other most common inspiration trans folks draw names from is from personal interests, like celebrities, authors, musicians, actors, historical figures, and characters they admire. This isn’t something just trans people do, either – plenty of cisgender prospective parents use celebrities when coming up with names, as evidenced by name trends whenever there’s a new famous baby born or a new actor that ascends to stardom. However, as mentioned in the previous section, be mindful of names that have associated races and ethnicities attached to them, since it’s poor taste to take a Japanese or Black name as a white person.

There are additional factors to take into account when using this type of inspiration. First, be aware that celebrities are people – musicians are more associated with scandals, but any human is capable of doing less-than-admirable things. In the very least, your chosen name will remind you of a person you used to look up to. At most, you might have an extremely infamous name like O.J. that’s widely associated with a public scandal. Furthermore, your interests will inevitably change – it’s human! Just be mindful of the fact that your favorite anime or TV show will be different from today compared to ten years from now.

It’s Your Name, Resonate With It!

At the end of the day, you don’t need a reason behind your name. You’re allowed to pick any name you resonate with – so consider names you’ve always liked. Some folks use baby name books to spark inspiration, which works too!

Common resources include:

I’ll put another caveat here since certain baby names are exceptionally common amongst trans people. There’s nothing inherently wrong with using a common name, but it’s something to consider when choosing a name.

While family may provide great suggestions for prospective names, friends and community members can also be a good source. Is there a nickname you’ve always gone by that could work? Are there ways to masculinize, feminize, or androgynize your name? You don’t have to get an entirely new name – some individuals choose to alter their name to simply better fit their gender identity.

Try It Out: Getting Used To Your Name

It can be awkward adjusting to a new name. Make an active effort and practice using your new name in conversations. If you’re struggling with it, the advice I recommend to cisgender folks adjusting to friends and family members’ new names is PRACTICE. Specifically, for each time you mess up, say aloud the correct name in a sentence at least five times. The only way to correct old habits is by forming new ones, which is why folks struggle with change unless they make the effort.

There are also resources online for this same purpose. Take an extra step and use your new name in other online settings, like forums and social media accounts, so you can normalize your chosen name in additional settings. Some sites I recommend include:

Extra Credit & Other Things to Consider

Names are a big deal! Do you care if your name is easy to spell or pronounce? In places such as the United States, non-white names will often be misspelled or mispronounced, as well as nontraditional white names like Mehgnn, Airwrecka, or Brandeigh. I want to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with having a “difficult” name, but be prepared to correct people.

Another important aspect to consider is whether you need your name to come across as “professional.” Ultimately, people make predictions based on names alone – even before someone has met you, they’ve already made assumptions about you. Certain names are associated with distinct ages, personalities, and other factors. Do you want one name used universally, or would you prefer different variations like Benjamin, Ben, Benny, and Benji?

Making It Official

To legally change your name outside of marriage or divorce, you must file a court order. This generally requires paperwork to be filed with your local circuit court. Contrary to popular belief, you do not file your name change in your birth city/county – you file your change with the county you live in. The exact forms vary by state, but guidance isn’t too difficult to find since many people change their legal names for non-transition reasons. The forms have to be filed electronically or otherwise online unless you qualify for an exemption. If you qualify, your documents can be filed in person at your local courthouse.

A4TE ID Document Center

Once filed, you’ll be assigned a court date in the near future, where you will appear before a judge and explain the reasoning for the change before it is officially signed. On that date, you will need to make sure you have your stamped copies of your Name Change Request and Order for Name Change, as well as any criminal records (including any documentation showing previous felonies discharged). Answer the judge and their questions honestly. If the court denies your name change request, ask for another hearing – you have the right to do so. If it was denied due to a mistake on your part, ask the judge to continue the hearing to a later date so you can correct the error. Otherwise, you have the right to file an appeal as long as you file within 30 days of the judge’s decision. Occasionally, some judges will deny trans-related name changes due to personal bias – but these aren’t permissible and are overwhelmingly overturned once appealed. In the words of Lambda Legal, “a judge cannot arbitrarily deny you a name change based on transphobic or sexist notions.”

Looking for a way to remove your deadname while browsing the internet? This free Chrome extension visually replaces your deadname with your chosen name – although it doesn’t actually change your name in the computer code or legally.

This order almost always requires a fee, although it can often be waived if you meet certain income-based criteria. The fee varies drastically based on median county income, but criteria waivers often include:

A number of states require applicants to publish their upcoming name change in a local newspaper, although this is being changed since it is unhelpful and outs folks. This requirement was originally created to notify debt collectors in order to better follow-up on cases.

If your court file open to the public poses a legitimate risk to your health or safety, you can file a Motion to Impound, which requires courts to make your forms private and therefore inaccessible to the public without specific permission granted by a judge. This comes up more often with trans folks since these records potentially out you as transgender.

As one final note, always remember you are allowed to change your name. It’s your identity! It’s okay if the name you choose today isn’t your forever name.