The holiday season thrives in the spirit of consumerism, so it can be infuriating to find a quality gift with a surplus of options available. December can be especially difficult for transgender individuals due to the high chance that our gender identities are “divisive” and a reason to be cast out from our biological families. Here are ten holiday gift recommendations for the transgender women in your life.
Disclaimer: None of these items are sponsored! All listed products are based on my honest and personal opinion, so take them with a grain of salt.
Makeup 101 ($10 – $75)
Transition is expensive. Nearly every aspect is costly, although this reality comes as a surprise to many cisgender people. Makeup is no exception.
There are multiple routes you could take. The easiest (albeit least personal) option would be to purchase a gift card for a local store. If you know her shade and preferences, you can take the initiative to buy a palette or set. Or, if you’re makeup-savvy, make the gift an experience by going to the store together.
Learning to do makeup properly with the latest fashion trends can be difficult and overwhelming, especially for folks who don’t know anything about makeup. To fill this common gap that many transgender women experience, there are numerous courses available to teach the fundamentals. Both Ulta and Sephora offer individualized lessons at their stores.
Personalized Jewelry ($30)
Necklaces adorned with names or initials are common gifts for all women, including your transgender loved one. There is something magical about personalized jewelry; it affirms our fundamental identities and makes the bold statement, “I see you as you, and I accept you.”
The most accessible place to order personalized jewelry is Etsy, which also allows you to support a small business. Just make sure to read user reviews before placing an order.
Voice Training Course ($300)
Some transgender women are content or even prideful of their natural speaking range. Other transgender women aren’t greatly bothered if they managed to avoid testosterone-based puberty. But there are just as many other women who are uncomfortable or dysphoric about their voices since it outs them as transgender – which presents an additional safety risk that prevents going stealth.
If she falls into the latter range, you could gift the tuition for voice training. If the price tag is too steep but you know her voice bothers her, you could also create a good gift by spending time gathering relevant YouTube videos.
Affirmation Journal ($20)
Journaling can be for anyone, and it’s a great tool to deal with stress and self-esteem issues. By purchasing her an affirmation journal, you’re providing her with a new coping skill to affirm her identity as a woman.
Guide her into reframing negative thoughts into optimistic ones, and dig into core beliefs holding her back. Affirmation journals come in a wide range of styles and themes – get creative and buy one based on her personal interests.
Fiction or Nonfiction Read ($30)
Is she a bookworm? Compared to the general population, transgender people receive far less positive visibility in the media. Despite this reality, seeing ourselves represented can be an incredibly beautiful and heartwarming experience.
For fiction fans, Nevada by Imogen Binnie follows Maria Griffiths’ road trip from NYC to the West Coast. Like most books written by transgender writers, Nevada has a small following compared to mainstream bestsellers – but the novel is well-received amongst LGBTQIA+ critics due to its impact on the transgender fiction scene when it was originally published in 2013.
Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is a solid nonfiction recommendation, which was edited and published by Laura Erickson-Schroth in 2014. Technically, Trans Bodies, Trans Selves is for all gender identities – but it’s an incredibly undervalued piece of literature. Based on the 1973 book Our Bodies, Ourselves (written by the Boston Women’s Health Book Collective to highlight censored topics like birth control, sexuality, abortion, and menopause), it holds a wealth of information related to transgender health.
Memoir ($15 – $30)
Similar to the suggestions above, transgender people don’t frequently see themselves represented well. Memoirs are a special subcategory of nonfiction that connects us with the experiences of other transgender individuals who have gone through similar struggles.
If you’re only going to read one transgender memoir ever, make it Whipping Girl. Julia Serano’s book is a wonderful blend of personal storytelling and critical theory that shook late third-wave feminist academia. The book explores the many ways transgender women are objectified, erased, excluded, and mystified both in general culture and within feminist circles.
Jennifer Finney Boylan is a prolific writer with a dense bibliography. She transitioned at age 42 after having two children with her wife, Deirdre, and many of her memoirs tell her unique experience as a transgender parent. She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders and Stuck in the Middle With You: A Memoir of Parenting in Three Genders are Boylan’s two most well-known works to start with.
In my gift guide for transgender men, I mentioned Some Assembly Required by Arin Andrews. Rethinking Normal is its companion memoir, written by Katie Hill – Arin’s girlfriend, who wrote her own memoir about being a transgender teenage girl.
Coordinated Activity (Pick Your Own Budget!)
Sometimes, the best presents can’t be wrapped neatly under a tree. The gift of making memories can be just as good as anything you can put a bow on.
If she’s open to the idea, book a spa day. However, I will caveat that you need to ensure the spa is transgender-friendly to ease her concerns. There is a history of issues regarding transgender people and spas that have barred us from basic services, since all occupations are capable of bias. There isn’t much more gender-affirming than lavishly getting a facial or manicure – but it might be a good idea to book the day for two and tag along to ease her anxieties.
Of course, remember that she is an individual. If she’s into music, look up concerts in your closest city. If she likes art or history, plan some museums. Become a personalized tour guide for cool shops, interesting sites, drag shows, and nightlife.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Kit ($25)
Organizer kits are helpful devices to keep her on top of her medication regimen, which can be beneficial if she’s forgetful or travels frequently. Unlike transgender men, most transgender women use a pill-based HRT regimen, although that doesn’t mean an HRT organizer is out of the question.
Get a fun pill organizer and help make the daily labor of pills more pleasant! Or, if you know she takes HRT via injection, get a sturdy case to help protect her medication.
Digital Artwork Commission ($)
By commissioning a digital artist, you’re supporting a small creator and giving her a deeply personal gift. Digital art is a unique way to affirm her identity – it allows her to envision herself the way she wants to be seen, even if that’s not the way she currently can present herself to the world.
Charity Donation (Pick Your Own Budget!)
Maybe she’s not into physical gifts, and none of the above options stuck out. For a woman who’s got it all, you can donate to a cause in her name – just make sure she’s keen on the idea.
There are hundreds of nonprofits out there, so pick a charity best tailored to her. The most common ones include the ACLU, HRC, Lambda Legal, Trevor Project, A4TE, Trans Lifeline, and SAGE, but make sure to consider smaller organizations or local nonprofits.
